A dying man needs to die, as a sleepy man needs to sleep, and there comes a time when it is wrong, as well as useless, to resist.

That sums up this blog well.

Last night I received an email from my dad that said “CALL ME NOW”.  It’s never a good thing to get an email from your dad late at night with such an ominous message.

Once I called him back I got word that my uncle was in hospice and would not make it home.  Then this morning the point was driven home by my nieces Facebook Status which read: Going to see my grandpa tonight. My mom said its time to say goodbye and that Im ok with him letting go. Ill see him again soon in heaven. I love you.

Originally man position was that I would prefer remember my Uncle as he was in life, not as he is in his last days, but I wonder if that’s not selfish of me. I’m really not sure what to do.. and my dad was no help on that front.. saying “you make that decision”.

What are your thoughts?

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4 thoughts on “A dying man needs to die, as a sleepy man needs to sleep, and there comes a time when it is wrong, as well as useless, to resist.

  1. I think it is a little selfish. Saying goodbye isn’t just for you ya know, its for him too. For him to say his last thoughts and know for eternity you loved and cared for him. I love you hunny!

  2. Take a few minutes to be still in silence: you’ll know what to do after that. Only you know the best decision for you.
    I know that’s no help and sounds hopelessly dorky but it does work.
    Best wishes to you and your family.

  3. I’m sorry to hear about your Uncle, James. We all handle grief in our own way and I don’t think there is one perfect way of remembering him. Sometimes you’ll think of a good time you shared with him, and then sometimes you’ll remember the hard times. I think you have to be careful not to be hard on yourself for how you choose to remember him. The most important thing is that you are remembering him.

  4. Just as “a dying man needs to die, as a sleepy man needs to sleep,” in the end, they often want to do it alone. The parting of a loved one is not easy on anyone, but the ones doing the dying appear to be most sensitive to we who remain. Perhaps they know their tears are about to end as ours are about to begin, and they wish to spare us the hard edge of that transition.

    May your memories of your Uncle encourage you and guide you and your family through the days to come. Recall the lessons learned, stories shared and build upon his strengths.

    God bless!

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