What if..

Secrecy, once accepted, becomes an addiction.
Edward Teller

Truth.  Once people decide they want to hide something, they will stop at nothing to make sure others don’t find out.  They will cover each lie with another lie, hide facts and materials, and invent a separate reality.  Of course, I think it works the same for people who know a secret but don’t want to accept it.  Take the family and friends of a drug addict that doesn’t want to rock the boat so to speak.. they will side step the truth and accept the secrecy…. until it almost becomes like their addiction.

When Whitney Houston’s last album came out I instantly feel in love with it.  I’m not someone who can just like a song because everyone else does, I’m a lyrics person.  The song has to speak to me I guess and a few of her songs on that album did.  Knowing where she had came from and that she was bouncing back (at least that was the appearance), the songs meant a lot to me.

Whitney has always reminded me of someone in my family that has dealt with alcohol and drug addiction most of my life.  I’ve watched this persons physical appearance, mood, and everything else change, just like we were able to watch Whitney’s change.  This person went from the top of the world (at least in my eyes) straight down, just like Whitney.  The moment I heard some of her last songs one the new album I thought “there is a bit of hope!”. That week I sent her the album with a note about which songs she should may most attention to my family member.  “I Didn’t Know My Own Strength” being the song I wanted her to hear the most.

Last night when I saw Whitney had died my heart sank… if Whitney couldn’t beat it… how could this person?  The first person I thought of was her.. and I sent her a text.  This morning she sent me a good morning text and a follow up that said “Did she die from drugs or what”.  I replied with “That’s the assumption but no one knows yet”.  Her reply was  “Too bad”.  I wanted to reply with several things… “That could be you”, “Get help!”, “Stop!”… instead I just replied with “I love you”.

I would do ANYTHING for the people I love… I just don’t know what I can do for her… All I keep thinking is what if…

 

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