In a flash…

You may or may not believe in luck… if not, that’s fine.  I’m not sure if I do or not.  I do know this… every year, Jan. 10th is a horrible day for me.  I have received more than one ticket on separate years, I have been broken up with, I have been in a wreck…. even last year something bad happened to me… it’s just a bad day for me… always has been.

Yesterday, Jan. 10th, marks 25 years since my “pawpaw” died.  My pawpaw was the only grandfather I knew growing up.  He meant the world to me while he was here with us.  I remember that weekend like it was yesterday… I spent the weekend with him and my memaw like I often did.  She cooked Saturday night for Sunday lunch… I can remember mac and cheese and potato salad… I remember cornbread and buttermilk… I remember how much he loved me.  That Sunday, when my mom and her then boyfriend picked me up, I remember they came in and sat and talked… for what seemed like an hour or so.  I remember their main subject but not really the details.  Then I went home, knowing I would be back the next weekend…. little did I know Tuesday morning my grandfather would be gone unexpectedly.

I miss him.  For some reason the last few months I have missed him more and more.  I miss what I know would have been his wisdom and guidance.  I miss him calling me his “jack rabbit” or his “red headed woodpecker”.  His name was Jack, which may be where the jack rabbit comes from… the red headed woodpecker is an obvious one.

It’s crazy.  In a flash, 25 years is gone.  So much has happened in what seems like overnight.  In 25 years I will almost be the age he was when he left us.  Crazy!

Back to the bad luck… I am so used to Jan. 10th being a bad day that I kind of expected it.. but made an attempt to reach out to people that I knew would make it a little bit better… all without mentioning the bad luck… the bad day…. only mentioning the 25th to two people…. but yesterday was anything other than a bad day.  It was a good, maybe even a great day.

So I’m not sure if I believe in luck… I know in general yesterday has been the worst day of the year for me… and I know that it was great this year… hopefully that’s a sign of things to come.  I know I miss my pawpaw and I hope I’ve made him proud. 🙂

3nottrans

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